Tag: post

I’ve never had sex in my life, and the way women are these days, it looks like i never will, on account of them hating sex with a man more than President Trump. But then again, maybe it’s better that way. I mean, if the single women i’m around in person are such assholes that they can barely tolerate me as a friend, why should i deign to make them a lover or girlfriend? Also, most of the women in my area are feminists; not only do they hate sex, but it is almost deadly certain that they would cry rape out of spite just to ruin my life, as well as being abusive, perverted b*tches to boot. Then there’s the chance of catching something, and i DO NOT need an STD on top of ulcerative colitis! Lastly, even with protection, there’s still the risk of pregnancy: now as i said above, 99% of the women in my area are feminists, and wouldn’t think twice about killing an inconvenient unborn baby. But abortion or no, there would still be three lives destroyed in the end.

sometimes i wonder if someone looks at me with the same kind of desire that i have for women. not necessarily sexual desire, but just the desire to be with them, to cuddle with them, to listen to music together, to go on walks through nature together, perhaps share a meal or two together.

and then i take a look in the mirror and i’m like…haha, nah!

those of you who might still be paying attention to what i post (all zero of you) might be wondering why i’m usually so negative most of the time.

well, growing up, i wasn’t exactly encouraged to talk about my problems and emotions. it was “always look on the bright side of life”, “keep it to yourself” or my personal favorite “just let it go”. someone else always had it worse, so just you shut up and don’t bother us with your problems. as it turns out, problems that are dismissed and never addressed don’t just “go away”, no matter how much you might want them to. and while my parents have long since forgotten about what they did and “moved on”, it still hurts me, even though they’ve forgotten and chide me for “bringing up the past.”

it has to be resolved, or else it can’t simply be “laid to rest.”

I don’t post about the endless spiritual conflict in which i have been overwhelmed for most of my life: it’s been an ongoing battle since 1999, but has grown in its intensity this past year, what with my battle with UC. The reason being that some a-hole is going to see my struggle and, instead of offering help, will use it as an excuse for doubt and faithlessness.

On a regular ass day, the people i call “friends” both online and in person, are never there for me. I mean, it’s gotten to where i have to pull their arm, hold them down, and put them in a choke-hold before they’ll even consider talking to me. It feels selfish and like i’m forcing them, manipulating them, and taking advantage of them, when all i really want is someone to talk to 😥