Tag: personal

So if my blog gets taken down tomorrow, here’s what you might have missed.

Pictures from the Renaissance Faire. Ghost DDoM posts throughout October, especially arranged with the last two posts in order to tell a story. Something from the new Sleep album on April 20th of next year. Likely reblogging that anatomy of a crucifixion post around Passover time. My grand rage against everything. An entire series on Ron Wyatt’s discoveries. And, of course, whining about being ignored by all my tumblr friends.

If all goes well and I don’t get taken down, most of what I’ve posted above (except for the rage post) will still be posted. If not, you can always seek for me out on pillowfort or the other “mainstream” social media networks, where the Vikingbard journey will be kept alive.

Godspeed and stay metal

I swear

Either everyone I know is intentionally ignoring me all at the same time, or everyone I know suddenly became busy all at the same time. And I’d sooner believe Quorthon wasn’t inspired by Venom than the latter statement.

So yesterday, someone actually bothered to explain why they see me as “so intense.” Basically because whenever I have something to say, it’s always super serious: whether a spiritual or personal struggle, or being antagonized by outside influence.

Well, here’s the deal. I don’t really have much in the way to talk about with anyone, both offline and online.

None of you want to talk about video game politics from Warcraft, Elder Scrolls, Command and Conquer, or how Knights of the Old Republic 2: the Sith Lords was the spiritual predecessor to The Last Jedi.

As far as music goes, nobody speaks the language of music like I do: where I have the mediocre grasp of music theory and the inclination towards heavy and extreme metal as well. Also I loathe death metal, metalcore, iron maiden, and burzum, and therefore have significantly less in common with everyone who’s “in” on the metal scene.

I can’t talk about movies, since everyone I know worships Disney, the MCU, and those god-awful Disney Star Wars movies, and also don’t see a problem with movies that single out people of my race, sex, and orientation for discrimination and censure.

I gave up on television shows for the same reasons: the CW’s DC shows became nauseatingly preachy or absurd beyond my ability to suspend disbelief, and Game of Thrones went downhill after it left Martin’s story and became D&D’s fan-fiction.

Considering that all of you are atheists, I can’t have an intelligent conversation about theology with any of you since you get triggered at the very mention of God (strange: you say He doesn’t exist, but get triggered every time someone even mentions His name without “damn” as a suffix). Also the ones who are believers hate the Bible and view me as a heretic and apostate for belonging to the Seventh-Day Adventist church. Hell, even among Adventists, I am an outlier because I’m not a raging, self-loathing liberal!

As I’ve pretty much said above, I’m more right-leaning than the rest of you, and so any conversation about politics would devolve into a shouting match.

I don’t follow sports and my best days are behind me. Because of my upbringing, I am less comfortable around other men than around women. So that means I can’t talk about sex, since women judge men for their sexual desires (and yet expect to be able to voice their own desires – or lack thereof – without the censure they levy against men).

So what the hell is there to talk about with anyone anyway?

A Truly Sad Day

This Sunday was Father’s Day. You didn’t hear anything of it from me because I am estranged from my father. He is still living, but the eighteen years of bad blood stand between us; I was willing to forgive him for how I hated him, but he saw no reason to apologize for how he treated me. So while everyone else was lauding the accomplishments of fatherhood, I was left in silence, with the fear over my head that in the 0.01% chance that I have kids, I might become like my father to them in more than just appearance and role.

Now today, my consternation has turned to sadness. First report of the morning was of the passing of my beloved grandfather.

I ask that those of you who care send me your condolences; and those who don’t oblige me with your silence.

I’m Done

I hate everything I make. Nothing holds my interest anymore. Everything I used to enjoy now feels empty and meaningless, just inane and valueless noise. My life has no meaning: and if I were to “make up my own meaning for myself”, I would be a great fool and only deluding myself.

All that’s left for me is to experience the love of a woman and then it’s over (though i’m 100% sure that no woman would or could ever love me).