grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong:

heronemau5:

grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong:

elegantbeardedchaoscollection:

grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong:

elegantbeardedchaoscollection:

grumpyvikingdidnothingwrong:

Nonalcoholic Guinness?

Fuck yes.

Does it come with a lavender fresh tampon?

No, but I’ve got a fresh new skull fucking for you.

Comes in “fresh pine” scent.

That little clitty isn’t gonna do much damage, princess. For real though, you’d need to slap like 40 sets of bull balls to counter a single pussyjuice (nonalcoholic beer).

Rocky Mountain oysters?

Too easy.

#18 months sober #because fuck being a drunk
Also because your ex would use it as another excuse against you

She would use the sky being blue as an excuse.

I’m sober for me and VP, not for any other mother fucker.

UC has made alcohol a non-option for me. I’d drink it